WHAT DO I THINK OF RETIREMENT SO FAR?

Well one thing's for sure - it hasn't been restful, but that is all to do with the arrival of the puppies.
When I was thinking about retirement, first of all I couldn't get my head around that word - it made me feel ANCIENT - but I don't FEEL old at all, so I kind of resented the label. It certainly wasn't an easy decision to make because I'd always loved my work, but in the last few years, having struggled with problems with my eyesight, it became clear that I needed a change of direction. As I started to give retirement real consideration I had to admit that there would be more positives than negatives for me: I would no longer have to struggle with the 70 mile round trip to work, could take time to choose what I really wanted to do with my time, could explore completely new areas if I wished, could find a life outside school (yes, teachers - there really IS one!). Basically it would open up the whole world of CHOICE, something that I didn't feel I had had for years.
Anyone who knows me will recognise that I am not a person who could EVER do nothing. I won't be vegetating slowly and turning into the sort of old person who potters along in the car at 20 miles an hour, gets in everyones way at the supermarket and wears comfy clothes with elasticated waistbands. I HAVE to have a sense of purpose otherwise it's not worth getting up in the mornings, but I wanted to have more choice about that purpose. I wanted to have the chance to do something different, to spend more time on my interests and MAYBE at some point earn an income from these.
The downside of course is that money is much reduced and I DO miss the company of everyone at school. Perhaps the aspect I miss most is the laughter. I know that in my last two schools the sound of laughter was never absent and there were times when I would literally ache from it - but what a difference it made to morale and team spirit. Laughing is indeed the best medicine and should never be underestimated.
It took months to finally reach the decision. I was still hung up on the retirement label and was a bit scared of what might happen to me once I had taken this huge step. And yet, once I had handed my notice in, I felt as if an enormous weight had been lifted and began to se everything in perspective again. Even having Ofsted and the Diocesan Inspection in the term before I finally finished work didn't phase me at all, whereas previously it would have thrown me into an irrational panic.
The actual time of leaving work was awful. That was when it really hit me that the life I had known for thirty odd years was over. And it WAS undoubtedly scary.
But now, in all honesty, I never give that past life a second thought. That doesn't mean I don't think about the people I had the privilege to work with, because I DO every day. But I really don't miss a life that was ruled by timetables and targets and meetings and development plans and yet more targets, all tackled with incredible amounts of tact and diplomacy. I don't need that any more.
I love the fact that we got the puppies at the start of September, just at the time when my retirement became real. At the moment THEY are my purpose. It might not appeal to everyone, but for me it has given me another challenge, but one which is rewarded by unconditional affection and appreciation - and lots of poop of course, but what's a pile of poop in the grand scheme of things?
They have filled my time in a way that I could never have imagined, and although there are times when I am absolutely shattered, I am loving every minute of it. I know that this phase won't last forever, so I'm making the most of it while I can and once they are older I'll have the luxury of being able to choose what else I want to do with my time.
Why am I writing this now? Probably because I read something the other day about how the thought of retirement filled someone with dread and fear. I suppose it depends on how you view it. If you can get past that word and see it instead as an opportunity for choice and change then you no longer associate it with becoming old and useless.