WHERE'S THE NEAREST PLUGHOLE???!

Only joking - just!
(If you haven't read about my nightmare, you won't understand about the plughole and if you HAVE read it you probably think I'm being unnecessarily cruel - BUT YOU'RE NOT HERE AND I AM AND SO ARE THE PUPPIES FROM HELL!
Puppies are NOT sweet cuddly little things, they're messy and sharp and scratchy and naughty and bitey and poopy and wet. And they are all of these things at the same time - and in our case TWICE AS BAD!
I attribute most of their HORRENDOUSNESS to the fact that they had an extremely short sleep this morning and woke up long before they were ready. Since then it's been one long battle - with ME on the losing side all the time.
Of course, THEY have had great fun - 'You go that way, and I'll go the other way and she'll never be able to catch us!' and 'If she picks you up I'll jump up at her legs like a crazed thing, then when she puts you down and picks ME up, YOU do the same,' and 'When she tries to put us in the car, I'll climb in like a good girl and you try to run away down the drive' and 'While we're in the car, let's see if we can make the side of the crate collapse on top of us then we can howl so much that the RSPCA will come and investigate and make her give us even more treats.'
Having just discovered that the poopy smell that had been following me around was in fact coming from ME and that when I'd picked Lily up to clean her rear end of the yucky mess that covered it I inadvertently smeared it all over my clean top, I have to admit defeat!
Fortunately for them, the puppies have not only exhausted me, but themselves as well and are now sleeping the sleep of the just (?)
As for me, I would give anything to go off ON MY OWN for a while without having to worry about them - or indeed whether or not I'm walking around in a poop covered top!