... but I've given up on 'Homes Under the Hammer' for now.
I started off taking this really seriously (although I missed the start cos I couldn't leave the ironing until the programme had finished!) and sat with pen poised ready to go.
My first observation has to be that the North-East never features in the programme to the best of my knowledge.
Then I got to wondering where exactly do people get all the dosh to do the renovations?
But then I got completely side-lined by Martin and Lucy's HANDS! Neither of them can talk without making grand, sweeping hand gestures and I now can't concentrate on the programme content at all.
So, I'm abandoning my task for this morning and will try again tomorrow!!
(It's a repeat anyway!)
LILY & ROSE
Here are some photos of Lily & Rose. There are a few from the first time we saw them when they were just 4 weeks old. They would fit on your hand at this age and didn't look much like westies!
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Homes under the hammer (pt1)
ReplyDeleteIts a good start. I am hooked on the programme but it is badly produced in my humble. The format needs a revamp urgently. Lucy and Martin's hands....excellent point. They should be amputated at the neck. I've become a hypercritical pain in the behind about TV recently(and I don't know why - I don't think this is a sign that I'm a man with not enough to do). Good points first, however. Martin does know his stuff and when he inspects the "properties" and makes his first assessments, they are valuable. Lucy should be a children's TV presenter. Too bright and bubbly for my money. Eyes wide open, far too toothy a grin (for a programme about property development) and I'd like to get my hands on her jerky bobbing head and tell her to calm the hell down...then slap her back to the previous scene. He aint a lot better with his cocked head sly half a wink facial expressions and his "We'll see how they got on....later in the show"... Like its the Morcame and Wise show or something. And boy does he need to lose the Simon le Bon obsession. The hair....the hair...get it cut man. The shots done together are so obviously clagged on to each project and are only a mild irritant especially when they do their couple of sentences and look at each other while the other is talking. It always looks like Lucy is just about to burst with uncontained joy and confess to the public that she's just done the deed with Martin.
But what really gets my goat is the lamentable script...and you can read what I'm on about...later in the blog.
Ha ha - I too had noted Martin's coif and 'bouncer-look' today - and the only time he kept his hands still was when they were in his pockets.
ReplyDeleteAs for Lucy - I agree, kids TV is missing a trick. Mind you she DID look as if she'd had a few too many this morning and the bags under her eyes were, well, almost shopping bags I'm afraid to say. I'd sack the make up girl.
Yes, the bit at the end where you couldn't squeeze a matchstick between the two of them is hugely irritating and we really don't need the Martin and Lucy love in at that time in the morning.
The whole programme is tired now I think. Entirely predictable in format, script and outcome. I'd like to see more of the things that go wrong, cos there must be some howlers out there somewhere.
Homes under the Hammer (pt 2)
ReplyDeleteAnyways.....the script relies on the same format interspersed with poor quality puns (Today’s hit an all time low with “Will it be dog tired? Or will it have that Chi wow wow factor?” – I mean....dear me Martin shush man)...... And oh God the accompanying music has the most tenuous links imaginable, though it does raise the occasional smile. The Frankie Goes to Hollywood “When 2 tribes go to war” music is apt for the auction and consistent as is “Express Yourself” by Charles Wright & the Watts 103rd Street Rhythm Band when the Estate Agents return to coo and give their varying verdicts. But the rest is mostly laughable, sometimes embarrassing and always superfluous.
I have to say that almost all of the conversions are very good and that’s why I watch it (I think). But there is too much time spent watching the auctioneer and bidders (with SO MUCH MONEY!); it is so dull and unnecessary.
There’s also too much time spent revising the homeowners’ plans etc that we’ve already seen…but more than this and most irrationally on my part, I’m acutely aware…..I bleeding hate the word “property”. The amount of times it is used really gets on my nerves. Why not call it what it is? A flat, a house etc. Ok property is correct and use it....yes, sometimes but for God’s sake use a pronoun occasionally!! Just because it sounds much more posherer being a man of property… than…than… buying a hoose.
Phew. Away for a cup of proper tea to calm down
Homes under the hammer (pt3)
ReplyDeleteAnd Gordon Bennett….those bloody Estate Agents and their bloody real estate tautologies… “For a property in this location I would probably be looking to achieve for this property somewhere in the region of around about 500 to 525 pounds per calendar month....for this property”
And most worryingly… (actually I really don’t care anymore – I used to despair….and I really don’t know why)… BUT… have you noticed how many people of varying ethnic origins and social strata cannot or rather do not pronounce “th” anymore? Lazily replacing it instead with a “f”. This middle aged Welsh geezer last week insisted on saying “Mumf” for month. It’s not even like he was from Sarf East Landan or eneefing. Strewth.
Ah enough of this pointless rant......I'll be watching it again tomorrow morning. Actually, reading the news this morning, perhaps they should relocate the whole programme to the Middle East onto the West Bank and call it “Homes under the Hamas.” – That’d sharp wipe the smug post-coital grins off their faces.
For my next book, I intend to vent my spleen on Mr Stuart Wincup of BBC Look North...but of course I’ll let you have a go at him first seeing as it’s your blog (about Westies) after all.
The music is indeed laughable. I fully expected a round of 'The Dambusters' this morning when they were at Property Number Two and imagined Martin and Lucy doing that silly thing where you turn your hands into flying goggles - and then I realised it would have been the wrong war.
ReplyDeleteStuart Wincup? I don't think I'm familiar with this person.
ReplyDeleteIf I was to have a rant, it would be at the objectionable and self-opinionated Jamie Rednapp, whose presence on our TV screen I find highly offensive. Don't get me started...