TWO YEARS!!!

That's how long I can expect to wait for my left eye to clear up!

Well, that made me feel wonderful this morning, especially as it was delivered by Mr Arrogant 'I've done this job for ten years and I know what I'm talking about' Registrar, and there wasn't even a distant glimpse of the Great Figueredo.

It all began badly, when I went into triage for my initial sight test - and couldn't read ANY of the chart - even with the aid of my glasses and a pin-hole.

Mr 'I'm the Big I Am'then had a go at the nurse who'd tested me and demanded a repeat - which he delivered himself, with her looking on and, lo and behold (and largely because he was using a smaller pin-hole) I managed to read the top two lines (of a different chart, because I said I'd had a sneaky look with my good eye and could remember down to line 4!)

The poor nurse was mortified and convinced she'd done something wrong, which gave him the opportunity to say, in his patronising, smirky tone,'No you haven't done anything wrong - but I PUSH them' ('them' - being the likes of me.)

The implication of course, was that if I had been pushed in the first place, I probably could have read the bloody chart. And I resent this because it just WAS NOT HAPPENING.

In fact, the nurse and I had a discussion about the last test, the one when everything came into focus as I just managed to peer through a part of the cornea that isn't scarred and deliberately took our time today in the hope that I might have a moment of clarity.

SO MR BIGSHOT - THE ONLY REASON I MANAGED TO READ YOUR BLOODY CHART IS BECAUSE YOU USED A DIFFERENT SIZED PINHOLE.

After that, we had the proper eye exam, during which it transpired that the infection is clear, but there is a lot of swelling, for which I am now taking super-strength steroids. I DID confess to stopping the ointment after only a week - and he DID agree that this was the right thing to do. (I came over all faint at this point!)

So, back again in three weeks, anti-cold sore drugs for ever and steroids for two years. Brilliant! (Which is more than can be said for my vision.)