I ACTUALLY HATE...

... New Years Eve. The only thing that makes it bearable is having Helen and Bill here. Fortunately none of us are bothered about going out for the night and are just happy enjoying each others company. We've had a real hoot at the Michael McIntyre DVD that Charles got for Christmas to make up for him missing the gig back in November. Now we're just lounging around waiting for the clock to reach 12 and hoping we haven't all fallen asleep before then!!

SMOKING, DANNYMATT?

Who even thinks about smoking these days. I can't even tell you how long it's been but it must be around three months. (Yep - I've just been to check and it is in fact twelve weeks since I was a smoker!) I never, ever think about it. I don't miss it. I'm not compensating by over-eating. There's still an open packet in the kitchen cupboard somewhere, but it's not there to tempt or reassure me that I can always have one if I really need it because that is never going to happen; it's there so that I can look at it occasionally and know that I've won! My only wish is that I did it years ago. I've always known that conventional methods weren't going to work for me and it was just a case of finding the right person to do the hypnotherapy. Now I think I'll go back for a session to help me get over my bird-phobia!

HAVE NOTICED...

... that despite all my best intentions and contrary to all common sense, I am already sneakily trawling all the NUFC sites in the hope of some decent news about transfers. I do it every transfer window and ALWAYS end up disappointed and let down. Why torture myself? It's an addiction isn't it? Sad but true.

WAITING!!!

Impatiently!! For helen and Bill to arrive with the Indian takeaway! Still half an hour away from Morpeth. May have passed away from lack of food by the time they get here.

HELEN AND BILL...

... are coming up today and staying over new year. It will be good to sit down with them for proper chats, mostly I suspect about Hannah and Christina, but still good to share our worries. Have reluctantly had to start on baking for the coffee shops. Nothing too strenuous yet, just a few brownies for the freezer, but at least it's a beginning.

DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY...

... after that shambolic performance. Started brightly enough, but completely fell apart during the second half. Not enjoying this feeling at all. Also, not enjoying the thought that Christina may have decided to return home, calling time on her relationship with Tim. It's been building up for a few days, but she seems to have made the decision now and it looks like we're going to need to put her up again. There needs to be some serious talking before that happens though, because neither Charles nor I are up to coping with the stress that tends to accompany Christina. We are both feeling incredibly tense - a little bit like we did when she was discharged from hospital, only this time we know that the level of support is nothing like we were led to believe then. So - watch this space.

CRIKEY!!

We seem to be having a lazy day! Got up late, didn't actually get round to putting any make up on for ages, pottered about a bit and now appear to have run out of stuff to do. I'm not altogether comfortable with this though. I know for a fact that I will be looking for an excuse to do SOMETHING before too long. That could be any of the following: a trip to the tip, shopping for New Year (as we seem to be having a houseful again), sorting the fridges and freezers, starting on baking for the coffee shops... I really wish I could just sit around and relax, but it would appear that the relaxing gene was missed out in my case.

TOOK MUM...

... round her grandchildrens' homes today. We started with Christina at the farm, then moved into Gosfprth to visit James and Claire and ended up in Spittal terrace visiting Rachel and James. I think she really enjoyed seeing them and will be able to think about them all in their surroundings when she gets back home. It's been a lovely few days, but I have to say I'm quite looking for ward to an evening without entertaining or cooking, just sitting in front of the telly eating leftovers! So far as I'm aware there's very little planned for the next two days, although Charles seems quite eager to go to the sales(!), but we're expecting Helen and Bill to return for New Year and it sounds as though most of the kids would like to come round on New Year's Day at some point. Might have a little shut eye now...

HOW TOUGH...

... was that result this afternoon? Not that I had any hope of winning the game at the outset, but to take the lead three times and then to lose it in the dying minutes was so hard to take. Charles is watching it now, but I can't bear it. (Man U have just scored their 4th, so can only be minutes left. Oh there we go - the whistles gone. So cruel.)

I THOUGHT...

... that Boxing Day was supposed to be a really relaxed, chilled, have-a-lie-in sort of day. At least, it always was when I was a youngster. Today though is shaping up to be as hectic as yesterday. There's half a cow in the oven, ready for Christina and Tim to arrive. Then it's party food for the afternoon Birthday shindig. Hope everyone enjoys it!!!

HAPPY CHRISTMAS DANNYMATT!!

Hope it's a good one for you and yours! I don't know, all those weeks of preparation and it's all over in the blink of an eye. James and Claire were here at the crack of dawn, had breakfast and their pressies, then had lunch, collapsed in front of the telly and departed for Claire's Mum and Dad's mid-afternoon. It was lovely to see them and to know that they'll be back for the family party tomorrow, when we'll celebrate James's birthday properly. Christina and Tim are coming over in the morning, so we've still got all their presents waiting for them. It's the first time she hasn't spent the day with us, but we don't mind because, after a difficult couple of weeks, she now seems happy and settled. Mum'll be here tomorrow: the first time since the wedding and the disastrous few days afterwards!! Let's hope things go a little more smoothly this time.

LOVE THIS TIME!

Everything's ready. We don't need to go out for anything. It's warm and cosy inside and we've got Carols from Kings on. Christmas really has begun.

QUITE CHILLED NOW!!

In a smug sort of way. I know, there's nothing appealing about being smug, but I don't really care. I'm sorted and that makes me feel good. Just a few last minute jobs to do this afternoon and tomorrow and then we're ready. Actually, Charles is noticeable only by his absence today. He went off to take Christina into town early this morning and hasn't been seen since. Hmmm... It is absolutely blowing a gale outside. In fact the boiler is really struggling to fire up. Hope it settles down soon. Not sure what to do now...

JUST WAITING...

... for the Tesco delivery to arrive. Typically, I got up early so that I was half respectable for when he got here, but I know that having done that it will now arrive at the END of the two hour window. If I'd had a lie in you can be sure that it would have arrived bang on 8.00! Today's a bit of an odd one really. Firstly, there's no prep to do for Kevin or Applebys. Secondly, it's a little too soon to be doing much for the Big Day. Thirdly, it's interrupted by the match and all the build up that comes with that. So, there won't be much happening in the kitchen today, apart from a lot of huffing and puffing about where all the Tesco's stuff is going to go. (Must remember we've got a Marks and Spencers buffet order to pick up first thing on Christmas Eve. There's no way I'm doing the Boxing day family get together without MY M and S!) Let's just hope the lads give it there all today and come away with three points. If they don't, we're in serious trouble.

I'M OFFICIALLY...

... on my hols now!!! How good does that feel? Had a fairly hectic morning of deliveries. We DID manage to stack everything up in the car, ended up helping Kevin to transfer everything into his freezer, decided if we win the lottery we want to buy Kevin's house, made the huge mistake of going to Asda for a few bits and pieces and ended up in total gridlock trying to get to the checkout... ... then, once I'd made my escape and found Charles (who sensibly had waited in the car) we called in on James and Claire quickly, then rushed home ready to start on Christmas cooking - FOR US!! There's a hotpot in the oven, smelling wonderful and absolutely perfect for an evening like this. I've got the Tesco delivery coming tomorrow morning (Just as well as there's no way I'm setting foot inside a supermarket again before Christmas!) and I think I ordered some flowers from Next that should arrive tomorrow as well. Of course we've got the match to go to in the afternoon. I am so not looking forward to that! A must win game? Unfortunately it's exactly the sort of game we will throw away.

NOT SURE...

... how we're going to get everything in the car this morning! It'll certainly be a struggle. Mind you, once it's over, that's it! I'm on my hols!!!

THE TREE'S UP!!

Charles actually made the suggestion that he could save me time if he chose the tree himself! Well, he actually went to Heighley Gate with Christina on the way to her appointment in Alnwick so she almost certainly had some influence. In any event, he chose the tree without me being there!! Bearing in mind that last year we had absolutely the most perfect tree - so perfect it looked artificial if you know what I mean - it was remarkably brave of him! And the tree that he brought home? Was pretty damn near perfect again!! It's looking gorgeous now, and so is the rest of the house. I got up at the crack of sparrers - well actually before that to be honest - and started putting the mammoth order together for tomorrow. That took the best part of the morning and then it was onto cleaning and changing all the bedding. Christina and Tim called in after her counselling session. She was great. Not at all angry in the way that she had been at the end of the last two sessions. Once they'd left we got on with putting the tree up and at last I think we're beginning to feel a bit Christmassy!!

CHICKLING AT...

... dannymatt's posts about the Winter Vomiting Bug over on facebook - but I'm not going to let him know!

NEARLY THERE!!

One more delivery and then I'm off for ten days. YAY!!! Most of the baking is done and I'm looking forward to clearing the freezers out for a while. At least I should be able to find room for the Tesco delivery which is scheduled for Saturday. Had a lovely morning actually. On my way home from Jesmond I called in at James and Claire's and we had coffee together after they'd shown me round. The unpacking is going pretty well considering they're still quite short of chests of drawers and useful things like that. They are on holiday now until the new year so it'll be nice to be able to call in and see them occasionally. I suppose the tendency will be to stop off whenever we've been into town, which we really mustn't do as that might get to be a bit much. Just waiting for Charles to get home. The holiday also begins for him today and the first thing we're going to do in the morning is to go to Heighley Gate for our tree. Everyone else seems to have had theirs up for ages and I feel a bit left out now!!

SITTING AND WATCHING...

... Strictly again from Saturday night, with James. Charles has gone to bed!!! It's been another very busy day, although it started very pleasantly at SAKs having my colour done and a really nice cut. Since I got back I've baked non-stop, getting ready for tomorrows delivery and the mega- deliveries on Friday. Actually can't wait for Thursday evening, when everything's boxed up and ready to ship out!

HAVEN'T POSTED AT ALL TODAY!

Why not? GUESS!!!

URRGGH!

Been up all night. Just could not sleep. And then just about an hour after I finally dropped off Charles was up for the day, setting off at some Godless hour to go with James to take the van back. I think he had to be at James's by 6.45! What it meant was that I was also up, and cleaning the ovens in my PJs - not pleasant, neither the ovens nor me in my PJs at that time of day. Must say huge thank you to Charles though because he took the Radcliffes delivery as he was going that way ad saved me a 50 mile round trip. I just did the Applebys drop and a bit of shopping and have been making macarons for an order on Wednesday since I got back. Am feeling pretty tired today, so can't imagine how Charles feels after all the running around he did at the weekend. James and Claire must be pretty shattered too!!

OH GOD

I was going to write a post about the emotional viewing tonight. Starting with Lisa who was so upset at being voted off Strictly and then all the tears that came with SPOTY. And then the news came on. How the parents and families of those children in Connecticut will ever get over the events of Friday God alone knows. It is truly heartbreaking on an unimaginable scale. Puts everything else into perspective.

JUST BACK FROM...

... Gosforth, where I've done a little bit of cleaning at the flat while everyone else gets all the really hard work done. What a massive job it's turning out to be. There's still quite a bit to clear out of the flat before the morning and the stuff that's waiting to be sorted at the house is pretty daunting. At least James and Claire are on holiday now until the new year (apart from one day - Tuesday I think) so they have a bit f time to sort things out. Claire's dad is in there and has already knocked out some wardrobes and an area under the window in the bay upstairs. No flies on him then. I'm going to get my orders finished for tomorrow and then I might feel inclined to clean either the oven or some windows. (On the other hand I might just lie down until I feel better!)

SOUNDS LIKE...

... Molly Maid are going to have their work cut out at the new house today. Apparently it was left in a real mess and James has banned me from going round until the cleaners have finished!! I HAD thought that I was on cleaning duty at the flat today, but apparently that's not the case just yet. So I'm making gingerbread snowmen instead! We've both had a restless night. I didn't get to sleep until after 3.00 and Charles was up for the day at 4.00. Meanwhile, apparently James and Claire have slept like logs. Surely that can't be right???

THEY'VE GOT THE KEYS!!!

James and Claire have got their keys. Poor things have waited on tenterhooks all day, but finally I got a text a while ago to say they were on their way to pick the keys up, so everything must be complete now, thank goodness. Charles is setting off to pick up the van which I think we're having for the weekend. Very kindly, one of James's clients has let him have it. In fact, come to think of it, for someone in the logistics/freight forwarding business, this moving lark should be dead easy!!

CENTURION BAR?!?!

Have had two calls this week from the manager of this bar. He wants to meet to talk about me supplying cakes!! Apparently he's tried them in Radcliffes. I've put him off until the New Year!

NOT GOOD

As predicted, Christina has really struggled this morning. I think we need to give her time, but it really is stressful for everyone, especially Charles who has been taxiing her around. What a contrast. Christina in the depths and James and Claire getting themselves all geared up for the big move. We'll get through this... repeat... and again...

EMERGENCY DELIVERY...

... on the way to Radcliffes, thanks to Charles, who will be picking Christina up on the way back and taking her to Alnwick for her counselling session. She's struggled this week, really since her last session, so I hope she can find some comfort today. I suppose there's a lot going on for her to deal with just now. Christmas is days away and she is still not working so has no money to buy treats, James and Claire are moving into their own home tomorrow, Tim is making big changes on the farm - replacing sheep with bikes!!! It will seem to Christina that everyone else is moving on with their lives - and she's not. It's bound to be difficult for her and my heart goes out to her. I'm going into Morpeth in a while, dropping a fab chocolate birthday cake off on the way. And then it's back to the kitchen where I clearly belong. (At least it's nice and warm!!)

SO, THE GIRLS AND I...

... enjoyed a lovely lazy afternoon - well it was more like an hour really, but as it never, ever happens it was really lovely to just lie down, read and snooze with a little Westie snuggled up on either side. They're so soft after their haircut last week and still have the gorgeous baby powder smell, so it was really indulgent! Anyway, all of this relaxing faded into oblivion when Kevin sent a text asking if I had any cake! Of course I have cake, Kevin, it's what I do, I've always got cake. Why don't you say what you really mean??? So he did. In a kind of manic conversation, Kevin described his day and how he has been beating customers away with a big stick to stop them eating all the cake, but it clearly didn't work and he now needs an emergency order tomorrow, which I've spent all evening working on. Bless him.

WARM AND COSY...

... in the house. Just looking at Lily and Rose all snuggled up and fast asleep is making me feel very tired. Might just have to lie down with my Kindle for a while. BLISS!!!

LAST NIGHT...

... was indeed heartbreaking for a number of reasons, only one of which was the outcome of the football match.

YUMMY CHOCOLATE CAKE!!

GOOD MORNING SO FAR!

It's only 11.15 and I've managed to get the order for Applebys ready *just waiting for the coffee cake to cool before adding the frosting), the chocolate birthday cake ready (actually don't want this one to go, It smells divine!), a large quiche ready for Kevin and more chocolate sponges in the oven. Not too bad!

COULD BE A PRETTY...

... hectic week, one way and another. By Friday James and Claire are hoping to have the keys to their new home and it will be all hands on deck to help them get moved in over the weekend. I'm so excited for them - and anxious too - just want everything to go smoothly for them. Cake-wise it's busy too. A wedding and a couple of birthdays in addition to the usual coffee shop stuff. Also I really need to look at stock levels to make sure the shops are going to be okay during my hols!! Tonight is Cheering Hannah Up Night. I've cooked up a big bowl of chilli and we've got enchiladas and fajitas, so plenty of nibbly things as I know she's not really eating properly at the moment. Had a productive day so far today. Made a coconut cake with fresh coconut. Haven't done one of these before and probably won't be doing it again, having spent the best part of 15 minutes trying to smash the wretched thing to bits with a hammer. Can't be bothered with all that. Because it only needed egg yolks I've got a couple of dozen meringues drying out in the oven now, but they'll be useful over Christmas. Made four tiny square Christmas cakes - as you do - they can either go into the shop, or be gifts, I haven't decided yet. Okay, nearly 5.00. Time for a cuppa I think...

HANNAH'S COMING ROUND...

... after work tomorrow. She's really struggling. James and Claire are also coming so between us we should be able to keep her from thinking too much. She'll end up watching the footie - and that'll be enough to take anyone's mind off their troubles! (Only joking. I'm actually so sad for Hannah and extremely worried about her.)

SPATIAL AWARENESS...

... has never been one of my stronger features, it has to be said. So the fact that I have spent the afternoon making a HUGE chocolate birthday cake (No James - not for you) for later this week, with the intention of freezing it first, has of course backfired badly, due to the fact that there is actually no available space whatsoever in any of the freezers. Hmmm. What to do???

YUP!!

He's been in the house for 10 minutes and Lily has gone from being a whirling dervish to a contented and snuggly little poppet who is now firmly attached to her dad's side on the sofa. Thanks Lily. Makes me feel great! (Rose is totally bemused by all the goings on today. She clearly wants no part of the silliness and keeps looking at me as if to say, "I'm not being silly, am I Mum?!")

ALL BY MYSELF...

.. today! Well apart from the girls, one of whom has been exceedingly naughty and very needy as if she knows her dad has left her. (He's only gone to Preston to see his Mum!) He WAS going to stay overnight, but has thankfully changed his mind and is on his way back now. This is a very good thing as it might calm Lily down a bit. Clearly she's missing the snuggles on the settee!! Ah, here he is now. Let's see if she calms down.

BUSY, BUSY BUSY DAY!!!

Can't wait for Dec 21st when my holiday starts. And before anyone DARES to remark that I am in fact retired, I just need to point out that I only retired from teaching and am in fact putting in pretty much the same hours now that I bake for a living. Don't make as much money, but still work as hard. The day began at 6am when I had to go to the freezer in the shed to lift out 56 scones. Charles took the Radcliffes delivery because there was a private order of mince pies that took up two huge bread crates, and I did Applebys. Did a bit of shopping while I was in Morpeth, came home and finished the wedding cake that had been such a trial yesterday. It just needs final assembly at the venue. Then it was batch baking mince pies, scones and carrot cakes. Have just finished and can't actually be bothered to cook anything for tea, so we're making do with bacon butties!!

SO TODAY WAS A DAY...

... when I somehow forgot how to bake and was completely unable to apply a sheet of sugarpaste to the wedding cake I was supposed to be completing today. NOTHING I tried to do worked out today, so tempers have been more than a little frayed in the kitchen. Mind you Kevin didn't help either, sending the order through this afternoon and then adding more and more to it just when I thought I'd got it complete. Christina had a session with her therapist this morning and clearly had a lot to get to grips with because she was clearly upset and angry when she came home. She DID calm down though and that is something that just wouldn't have happened last year. She's fine now. Can't get moved for mincepies today. I'm taking 84 to Jesmond tomorrow, along with everything else for Radcliffes and Applebys. It's actually surprising how much room that number of mincepies takes up!!

RANT AHEAD...

... okay, so we've had an inch of snow. That's all really. Admittedly it fell on icy roads. That would be why it took me an hour and a half to get from Heighley Gate to Fram this morning/afternoon. In all the years we've lived here I've never seen chaos like it. Traffic at a complete standstill. apart from ME in my Peugeot who tried desperately to slow down from the 10 mph I was doing when the guy in front put his brakes on, only to discover that I was on a slide and wasn't going to be stopping any time soon. To avoid hitting the trailer on the vehicle in front (who had stopped) I had to steer out into the oncoming lane and just prayed that there was enough space to get through - and that I would in fact be able to steer at all. Fortunately for me, the oncoming traffic was at a standstill and there was sufficient space to get through, but I don't think I've ever felt so afraid or helpless. The gritters DID eventually turn up as did the police, who made no attempt whatsoever to explain what the situation was further up the road. So an inch of snow and everything grinds to a halt?! Brilliant!

BUSY FEW DAYS...

... coming up. There's a pretty mega order for a customer at Radcliffes on Friday. A wedding cake and two birthday cakes for next Wednesday and the usual deliveries to Jesmond and Applebys. Won't be much time for putting my feet up then. The girls have got their pre-Christmas beauty session at Woofcuts tomorrow. Unfortunately they hate it!! I'm not having them cut short, just a good tidy up. And they'll come home smelling of baby powder - a fragrance that lasts for days. Lovely!! Hannah's coming round this evening. I think she needs to fill her time with family and friends at the moment. She was at James and Claire's last night so I hope it's all helping her a little bit to get to grips with what's happened. I need to get some shopping in this morning and think it might have to be done in Morpeth. Not looking forward to this as parking is horrendous in the build up to Christmas. Okay, I'd better go and get the car defrosted. Ugh!

DULL, GREY AND WET...

... but, so long as it doesn't freeze tonight, it may mean the end of the absolutely lethal pavements/skating rinks around Cheviot Lodge. I ventured out yesterday afternoon, only really across the road to a friend's "Jamie at Home" party, and I really wished I'd taken a stick/zimmer/crampons with me, it was that bad. How sad is that though? 'Jamie at Home' in the middle of the day. Actually, its as well I went because there was only one other person there and she clearly wasn't going to spend much although once I'd told her that I'd only gone to get the trifle bowl and it was in the sale, she perked up and decided to order one for herself. Fortunately, another friend arrived with two of her daughters, so by the time I left there was a bot more going on, but I can't imagine that Liz will make much of a living through Jamie's stuff. Talking of yesterday - How wrong was I about the match? Just goes to show!!

YAY...

... RESULT!! OH ME OF LITTLE FAITH!!!!

DON'T MAKE ME GO...

... to the match tonight Charles. I really can't stand the pressure. Just seen on SSN that Demba Ba has turned down the latest contract offer. Great - he'll be really focused on the game tonight won't he? So, we've lost our last four games. Not exactly feeling confident about tonight either. Plus - it's FREEZING.

NOT AS BUSY A DAY...

... as yesterday, very pleasant though. Went into Morpeth this morning and did some bits of Christmassy shopping with Charles, then came home and were joined by James and Claire for a while this afternoon. I'd like to thank James for clearing a load of stuff out of our loft and thus freeing up a fair bit of space which I can now fill with MY STUFF, thank you very much!!! A fortnight from now those two should, fingers crossed, be moving into their new house. They might not have much to put in it yet, but it will be theirs and there is nothing to beat that feeling. Had a call from Alice at Applebys this afternoon wanting a delivery tomorrow. couldn't really pin her down to want she wants, so I'm taking a selection of stuff and we'll just take it from there. Okay, we've watched Strictly and Xfactor results, there's nothing else worth staying up for (Charles has got some cheesy Christmas film on) so I'm going to turn in early tonight!

GOT IT!!

The Tesco slot, on Saturday 22nd December between 8.00 and 10.00! Perfect!! Had a little panic when the site froze for a while last night, but I'd already had confirmation that I'd got the time I wanted so I wasn't all that worried, but knew that I had to get my shopping basket through the checkout within two hours. Fortunately it was just a minor blip and all was sorted within minutes. Equally fortunately, I didn't have to do the entire shop last night, although I had pretty much done most of it in advance, so it literally took seconds to place. Looking at it this morning, every single slot for that day has gone, so it WAS worth sitting up last night. No battling the frenzied crowds of supermarket shoppers for me thank you very much!

(WHILE I'M WAITING...)

... I'm really disappointed to say that I let the girls have an early Christmas present today (as I hadn't got them an Advent Calendar like I did last year). I'd got them cosy little cube shaped beds that I thought they would love, especially Lily who loves being in enclosed little spaces, but they seem totally uninterested in them and have actually gone to sleep OUTSIDE the beds. Maybe they just need to get used to them. I only let them have them really because I've got some other beds for them to have actually at Christmas. I really hope they like the other ones because they are something really special!! Right, I'm off to Tesco...

WAITING UP TILL MIDNIGHT...

... purely so I can book a Tesco slot for Christmas week. Is it worth it? Yes, absolutely if you don't want to spend the best part of a full day, pushing a trolley round any supermarket just before Christmas. I vividly recall being in Tescos years ago and getting caught up in TROLLEY GRIDLOCK. I was unfortunately in the fresh meat section, where I stayed for hours without making any headway whatsoever, because nobody could move anywhere. I was frozen by the time we eventually got moving and vowed that I would never, ever subject myself to such insane shopping hell. It really must be years since I actually set foot in a supermarket during regular hours at Christmas, because while I was at Heddon, I would leave home at about 4am and do the Christmas food shop on the way to work. Just me and the alcoholics at that time!! Anyway I'm aiming for the Saturday delivery and slots will come on line at midnight tonight. 20 minutes to get my finger poised. Yes, I've been here before, I know what I'm doing!!!

WHAT AN INCREDIBLY...

... BUSY AND PRODUCTIVE DAY I'VE HAD TODAY!! I've made a stable birthday cake, covered a 12" square by 4" deep fruitcake, the bottom tier of a wedding cake that goes out next week, baked coffee shop stuff in readiness for Monday and started to wrap presents! Feet are killing me as I haven't sat down at all since I got up this morning, but I'm feeling such a sense of achievement I really don't care. (It may not seem much to anyone else, but I know how much I've still got to get through before I have my little Christmas break!!) An evening of mind-numbing telly awaits. Yippeeee!!