HOUSEHUNTING!!

How exciting!

We've waited ages for this, so going to enjoy finding our next home!

OFFER INCREASED SLIGHTLY...

... but not really enough, so told agent we would need to think about it over the weekend and get back to them. Rosemary and Phil obviously really want the house, we just need them to make a slightly better offer.

Oh and there's hardly any houses that we are I terested in at the moment and all those that we do like have gone within days!

Typical!!

JUST HAD AN OFFER...

... on the house!

It's from the couple who came to look in the summer and who gave stayed in touch. It's below what we are looking for, but at least it's an offer and, fingers crossed, there will be room to negotiate.

Better have a look at Rightmove!

SO FAR...

... we've only had snow flurries really.

I know that might change as the say draws in, but I think we might actually manage to get yo the Arena tonight after all.

I've had my hair coloured and cut this morning, so feel a bit happier about that because it was looking decidedly tatty.

Have had a nice big order from Centurion, so I will be able to get on with that while Charles is away for the next couple of days. Thank God I can be busy again for a while!

Right, will let you know how Strictly was when we get home later on...

WEATHER FORECAST...

... is absolutely awful for tomorrow and Thursday. Charles has just about persuaded me that we should still try and go to the Arena, even though James can't be here with the girls, but I've told him there's no way I'm going if the weather is really bad. I would just spend all evening worrying about how we'll get home.

Sorry, I know I'm wittering on, but I'm generally feeling so low at the moment that even small stuff seems to take on huge significance.

I need to give myself a slap. Having watched the coverage of the 70th Anniversay of the liberation of Auschwiz Birchenau there is nothing in my life that should ever make me feel sorry for myself.

OH THAT'LL BE NUMBER 3!

The little Heddon reunion that was supposed to happen on Thursday, that I was looking forward to more than you will ever know, isn't going to happen now because two of the girls can't make it, so the others have decided to wait for another opportunity. All I need to do now is hand the birthday cake over to Lynda. Job done. Go home.

OH WELL...

... Looks like we won't be going to Strictly anyway!

The plans for James and Claire to come here and look after the girls have changed completely now that James has to work. It never happens that he has to work in an evening, but it would happen tomorrow.

So, if anyone wants to go to the show, the tickets on me!

Wonder what the third thing will be?

1) get sacked for no reason

2) not going out

3)???

ACTUALLY...

... what am I going to do today?

I actually have NOTHING TO DO AT ALL.

This is the thing I fear most. I hate being unproductive, can't keep still, am unable to relax and (THANK YOU KEVIN)  I now have nothing to occupy my time.

Might just have to go and watch the weather forecast then.

WELL...TYPICAL!!

And just my luck.

I hardly ever go out in an evening, boring old so and so that I am, but tomorrow night I have tickets for Strictly at the arena (thanks to Christina) and all I can think about is will we get there, and more importantly will we (and James and Claire our dog sitters) get home again safely.

I can't look forward to the show at all because all the threats of snow have turned into a monster in my mind and I'm now clearly imagining snowfall of epic proportions. Presumably, reading about the expected 3ft snowfall along the NE seaboard in the USA just before I fell asleep has had some impact on mtaters, but nevertheless, it would have been so nice to just be able to look forward to the show with a bit of excited anticipation instead of fear and dread.

Good grief, I do enough fear and dread going to the Newcastle matches, I don't need it for other stuff that I go to as well.

Talking of Newcastle...

... Oh what the hell, let's not bother talking about Newcastle eh?

I'M GOING TO HAVE TO WATCH...

... that I don't start to get a bit depressed after all this stuff with Kevin. I'm not talking extreme, need to go to the GP type depression, just that horrible feeling of being worthless that has surrounded me today. I still cannot understand how I have come out of this as the one person who is going to suffer. Kevin clearly doesn't gove a toss, and it wouldn't surprise me at all if, when we go to pick up the outstanding balance at the weekend, he (and it) isn't there. He has lots of our storage crates that he just kept hold of when it suited him, so we need to collect those as well.

Business hadn't been as good since Andrew left. I admit that. But I m still going to be a good few hundred short each month and that is going to hurt.

I've drifted about today, flitting from one thing to another, although I did manage to concentrate on a birthday cake this afternoon, so that provided a welcome distraction from my very negative thoughts. Maybe I need to get this week out of the way, then start planning for how I'm going to get the business back on track again. And this time , I will learn from the mistakes I made with Kevin!

HAVE JUST NOTICED...

... that Kevin had dated the returned cheque 2014, which could be the reason it bounced!

I don't think this makes any difference to the situation, but I have let him know about it. Just giving him the benefit of the doubt again.

SO YESTERDAY...

... Wasn't just a bad dream then. I really was given the boot for something that wasn't my fault.

I stayed up until about 2.00, working on a fire engine (Jupiter) to go on the Fireman Sam cake I'm doing this week. I hoped it would mean I was absolutely shattered by the time I eventually crawled into bed, but it didn't really work. I read for about an hour and then fell into that fitful sort of sleep where you don't know if you are awake or dozing.

Not sure what to do today. I know I need to work onthe birthday cake, but apart from that, I'm struggling for things to keep me busy.

YOU READY FOR THIS?

For the first time in my life I have been sacked!

Just bear with me a while and I'll explain the sequence of events...

... The post comes this morning and I receive a letter from my bank notifying me that Kevin's last cheque has bounced and very kindly returning said cheque.

Charles  texted Kevin to let go know and to ask him what he intended to do about it.

Kevin immediately replied, "Charles you can f*** off." just that, nothing else. Only he spelled it out.

Charles then proceeded to ask him how he intends to pay his total debt to us and his reply was that Charles is the most condescending person he's ever met, that if we go through to the coffee shop before Thursday he won't pay us, that our attitude stinks and we can stop supplying altogether.

At which point I began to get upset, and to be honest I am STILL upset, because I have bent over backwards for that man ever since we started supplying him and this is how he repays (ha ha ha) me. I'm furious, humiliated, upset, frustrated and totally pissed off with him.

How can a bounced cheque from HIM become MY fault?

Oh well, that's the end of that bit of income then. Thank you so much Kevin.

GOT A NEW TOY TODAY!

A pressure cooker no less!

Okay, it may notbe everyone's idea of an exciting plaything, but it has certainly proved to be something of a challenge, quite a revelation and resulted in a bit of a Road to Damascus moment for me.

Was absolutely terrified of it at first, especially as those people at Tower appear to think nobody needs detailed instructions these days. Also, I had vivid memories of my Mum's pressure cooker back in the day when she had to work out the weights and it would hiss and spit. But, once I calmed down and did a bit of research, found some top tips on t'internet and started to actually have a go, it all seemed to make sense! So currently I'm cooking a rather lovely piece of topside along with root veg, in the hope that it will end up as a tasty casserole sort of thing.

I'll let you know!

GUESS WHAT?

Charles has spent all day working on stuff for the school in Birmingham that he works for two days a week. Hmmmm!!

I've just wasted an afternoon baking a seeded loaf that appeared to have proved perfectly but has completely collapsed in the oven. So annoying!!

Starting to discuss holiday ideas now. Looks like Cornwall is a definite goer during August. Just need to get Helen and Bill to tell us their thoughts and then we can go ahead and get something booked up. Mind you, it would appear to be as, if not more, expensive to have a fortnights holiday in Cornwall than to go abroad. We are really hoping that some of the kids will come and join us during our time away. I used to love it when they joined us on the boat, but, although both of Helens kids have spent part of the holidays with us, neither of ours have, so I'm desperate  for that to be put right this year!! Maybe, once Charles has finished working on this school report thing, we'll manage to discuss our ideas!

NOT MUCH HAPPENING...

...  today really. Just a day at home, with the girls. Did a bit of baking, (made bread to save me going out to the shop!), tried not to get too despondent about the Lee Charnley interview, finished a book on the Kindle, had two lovely, but very icy, walks with the girls. Just happy to be at home, in the warm really.

WELL!!

I'm going to be really annoying now, because I had an extremely lengthy conversation with Kevin this morning when he came to pick up his order, and although it addressed all sorts of pressing issues I can't say too much for fear of jeopardising his plans. Let's just say a change of premises is on the cards, and along with that quite possibly a complete change in style, decor and menu that will hopefully attract a much wider customer base.

Plans sound very exciting, but time will tell.

BLUE MONDAY!

Thought that was the case for every Monday. What is it that makes it worse than other Mondays? I'm guessing it's to do with Christmas debt and lousy weather, but I might be wrong.

Anyway, I'm not too fed up today. A little annoyed with Kevin again, but that's just normal. Have spent the morning putting together the order he should have requested on Saturday, but, Kevin being Kevin, he only placed it this morning and then we had the whole "You've forgotten we're not delivering on Tuesdays and Wednesday's," "No I havent. I'll collect". Never a mention of please or thank you  or any acknowledgement that I might have had to alter my plans to accommodate him.

Anyway, it's done now. Sorted.

Looks like we might be able to get to Madrid in May to celebrate Lucy and Ata's wedding. Helen will look after the girls, so perhaps we really can have a long weekend away. It'll be so nice!! However, Charles hasn't got a current passport, so he will need to get that replaced ASAP.

(Having a little difficulty typing this morning as I nearly sliced my finger in two yesterday and it is so sore this morning. I was carrying too much and the big pack of cling film slid out of my hands with its serrated edge cutting into my finger as it fell. Aaaaargh!!)

MISERABLE WEATHER

Just back from Morpeth  and very pleased to be back in a warm house, thank you very much. Feel as though I've been sandblasted!! Might be good for the complexion but the combination of freezing cold wind and sleety hail was extremely unpleasant!!

That's it, I'm it going out again for the rest of the day!

HAVEN'T BLOGGED!

Because I really can't be bothered today to be honest. All I can say is that we've just sat through yet another horror show from Newcastle Not-Very-United and its left me with a really nasty taste in my mouth.

Charles yelled constantly and was so loud that people actually stared at him and commented. I felt embarrassed by him (as well as the squad).

Oh, and I was also late for a wedding cake consultation this afternoon. One that we left home in bags of time for, that I planned logistically taking into account the time I needed to be there and the fact that a delivery to Centurion could be made while I was engaged with the happy couple, but which someone decided to do differently resulting in me being 15 minutes late for the appointment. Anyone who know me will tell you that being on time is an absolute obsession of mine. It's just good manners. Sadly I gave out all the wrong messages today though.

Not happy.

CRIED ON THE PHONE...

... to the mental health team. Very worried about things, but feel as though nothing can be done until everything collapses again.

Leaves us feeling rung out, anxious and, above all else, totally helpless.

HMMMM...

Can't say anything really about this, but Kevin, after a fair bit of pressure from us to be fair, has given us an inkling about what he's up to.

Could be interesting. Could come to nothing!

MAYBE...

... I'll get up and have a cup of tea.

4.21AM!

And I'm wide awake - obviously!

Aaaaaargh!

I hate this. Why can't I sleep? It happens all the time.

CURIOSER AND CURIOSER!

Just had an email from Kevin wanting to know if I've managed to 'knock up' a reference. Still no idea who it's for, why it's needed  or what Kevin is playing at.
Charles has just spoken to him and he continues to be evasive, but we're just going to write the briefest of factual references to the effect that we have supplied the coffee shop since it opened and that payment is received regularly. (Not,  however, necessarily on time, but we will stop short of actually stating that!)
I suppose we then have to sit back and wait for the dastardly plot to be unveiled.

WHATS KEVIN UP TO?

 He asked me to write a glowing referenced yesterday. Didn't say who it is for, in what context or what he wants it to cover, just that its for something that will benefit both of us. Only when pressed did he admit he wants it to cover 'regular weekly or fortnightly payments' (ha ha ha). I've asked him if it's because he's taking on more suppliers, but he's kind of denied that. So I haven't got a clue what he's up to. Plus, how he can think it appropriate to get me to say that he pays regularly, I have absolutely no idea. I'm not writing anything at all until I know what he's up to.

Watch this space!

DIDNT GET MUCH SLEEP LAST NIGHT!

Spent the entire night with two Westies on my head - and they were snoring.

Don't ask!

THE GIRLS HAVE...

... always had an issue with people daring to trespass upon their territory, and that extends to the road at the end of our drive. Anyone who dares to park within sight of the girls' room is I for an ear-bashing. The poor unfortunate driver may have no intention of visiting US, but. The girls make no allowance. Your in their space, you get barked at.

For the next week or so they are going to be beside themselves because we have temporary traffic lights set up at the entrance to Cheviot Lodge and the start of the queue is right outside our house, so There is pretty much always a different car parked outside - and it is causing mayhem in here. I've banned them from their roomat the moment, just to get a bit of peace and can only hope that they give up their territory defending efforts once they realise they're fighting a losing battle!

I've had them out twice so far today, mainly because I want to make sure we avoid the snow and ice that are forecast for later on. We've had a few flurries so far, but just wet stuff and nothing that's settling. I will totally understand if James and Claire decide against coming up this evening though, especially having experienced the skating rink that the village had become this morning.

Of course, Charles is in Birmingham today and tomorrow. The girls settled pretty quickly after he left at the crack of nowhere-near-dawn. Took me a bit longer, but still managed another couple of hours before we all surfaced for the day. I think we're getting into a bit of a routine. All it needs now though is for Kevin to upset the apple cart...

HARD TO BELIEVE...

... that the whole Charlie Hebdo thing hadn't even occurred this time last week; we seem to have been so immersed in it. I suppose that's what happens with 24 hour instant news coverage on repeat.

I'm currently watching footage of a (clearly Orthodox) Jewish father taking his small child to school and walking past armed guards at the gate. Such a sad image and yet there is a dreadful familiarity about it.

I think it will be interesting to see if Charles finds any difference in the mood around City Road in Birmingham tomorrow, especially after his experience of watching the events of last Wednesday unfold in that Hallal cafe, where he was the only non-Muslim. I wonder if he will return for one of their chicken wraps?

BITTERLY COLD TODAY!

In fact, it's even proving difficult to keep warm inside - and that's with the heating on full blast. Probably something to do with the strong winds.

Was hoping for a bit of a lie in this morning, but the girls had other ideas sadly. I'm not feeling brilliant - just a raw throat and the beginnings of a cold - and an extra hour in bed would have been very welcome.

Meeting up with James, Claire and Helen for lunch at  Adrianos, so that'll save me cooking. And then I expect it'll be home for an afternoon snooze with any luck!!

PRETENDING...

... that we haven't got a match this afternoon!

Clearly, CHELSEA have a huge point to prove against us and will undoubtedly do that extremely convincingly. Nobody expects anything from us, so from that perspective the pressure is off, although it would be good to keep it to single figures. IF we do remotely well, it would go in Carver's favour no wise possibly, and that would be a very bad thing, in my opinion.

Charles has just yelled through that apparently Newcastle have been outstanding. Well, we all know what'll happen now...

... Not that we've got a game like!

YESTERDAY...

... at lunchtime, Charles took himself to a Hallal cafe in Birmingham where he was the only white person. He ordered a chicken wrap (that he said was delicious) and sat watching the coverage of the Charlie Hebdo massacre with the rest of the customers, all male. The TV was tuned into an Arabic station. He couldn't follow the discussion in the cafe because nobody spoke in English.

Is it wrong that I felt really uncomfortable where told me anout this?

BACK TO WHAT PASSES FOR 'NORMAL'!!

Charles for home last night at about 10.30, absolutely knackered, as you can imagine and full of cold. He's coughed practically right the way through the night, so none of us (obviously I include the girls) feel particularly bright eyed or bushy tailed today.

Delivery to Kevin is done. Kevin left a cheque for the wrong amount, but has basically just laughed off my texts to advise him of this fact. It's all one huge joke to him.

I'm just about to go into Morpeth - whoopee - and then I guess it'll be a case of everyone settling down for a bit of shut eye later this afternoon.

Oh, he IS going back next week and does think he can make a difference. I hope so.

WATCHING...

... the horrific events unfold in Paris today.

It has brought back vivid memories of the sense of sheer terror that I experienced on 20th July 1982 when I was in London with a school party and Hyde Park was bombed.

Totally different agendas and events. Different worlds in terms of communication and social networking. But absolutely the same sense of fear and disbelief.

My heart goes out to everyone who has been affected by today's events.

DIDNT GET MUCH SLEEP LAST NIGHT.

I suspect I actually slept less than Charles and had finally dozed off  at 3.30 ( the last time I looked at the clock) only to be rudely awoken by the alarm at about 4.55.

It's all very well saying he won't disturb us, but it simply doesn't work in practice. The girls thought it was get up time for us all. His Freelander wouldn't start (AGAINST! On going problem, been playing up on and off For MONTHS!) so I couldn't go back to bed until he finally got away. The girls couldn't understand where he was. Yep. It was indeed get up time for all of us.

Have had a text to say he's confident he can turn things around. Mind you after last night on facebook he wasn't going to say anything else really.

Anyway, I've spent the morning doing 'stuff' (obviously a fair bit more than I usually do, but hey ho). I am just about to take the girls out again while the sun's out and then I think it's coffee and Kindle time for an hour or so!

CHARLES...

...starts his new job tomorrow, so has spent most of today getting things organised for that, especially as it effectively me and being away from home for two days a week.

We've notified coffee shops that deliveries will not be done on Tuesday or Wednesday until August, although Kevin will almost certainly try to test this out, probably fairly soon I would imagine if his track record is anything to go by. It's only the guest day of deliveries and I've already had to send him an angry text, but he really isn't in the least bit bothered.

I've tried to get up to date with baking and house stuff so that I've got a couple of easy days to enjoy with the girls.

My MX5 has been thoroughly waterproofed this morning and Charles has taken it to Blyth ( he's seeing his Mum) for a bit of a run to make sure it's dried out completely.

We're having Thai takeaway tonight so I don't need to think about getting a meal ready - hooray!

Right, I think  I'll have a look on Twitter, see what's happening with Newcastle's vacant managerial position! Ha ha ha ha ha...

THINK I MIGHT START...

... To support Sheffield United while Mike Ashley continues to ruin our club.

I know nothing about the Blades other than they appear to be afraid of nothing, are up for every challenge and seem to slice through any team that stands in their way. Oh how brilliant it must be to support a team like that! A team that says, "Bring it on and we'll give it everything we've got!" Can you imagine?

Just think how it must feel to know that your team has given 100% - even if they haven't won!

Imagine not feeling sick that, yet again, you and your fellow supporters are being taken for mugs - and you're just letting it happen... again... and again... and again.

Here we are at the beginning of another transfer window and events have played so brilliantly into Ashley's hands. We have no manager, nor does there appear to be any urgency to appoint one and while we bob around like the rudderless ship we are, who in their right mind would sign up to play for us? On the other hand, we have players who can command a healthy sell on fee and they will be falling over themselves to get out of Toon. We've successfully exited the Cup and Ashley, from his (reinforced) sun lounger in Barbados must be deliriously ecstatic - and that'll be nothing to do with sunstroke either.

Still, despite everything we know about how the rest of the season is going to play out, we go to the matches in our droves and obsessively watch SSN for a snippet of good news on the yellow banner, we hang onto every rumour and check out Twitter for the latest sightings (at Newcastle airport with a football under his arm) and cling to the hope that we will get to the start of February with the squad we have now (inadequate though that may be) with no losses. (I don't imagine any of us is deluded enough to dream that we might bring players in!!! Ha haha haha ha.)

Mags?

WE ARE  NOT MAGS. WE'RE MUGS!

WAS GOING...

... to go to the Blyth v Birmingham game, but cried off this morning for a number of reasons. I think Charles was absolutely fine about it. Perhaps he saw it as more of a blokes game, I dont know! (couldn't care less if that's a sexist comment either)

So, I've had a really lovely day so far. Went into Morpeth to have my hair done, had a good old natter with Barrie and did a bit of shopping, came home and did a little bit of baking, made a lasagne for tea, dyed a dress that I bought recently, that I should have taken back (long story) because there's clearly a fault in the fabric, but I love it so decided to have a go at dyeing it instead, and now I'm snuggled up on the sofa with the girls, keeping half an eye on the FA cup scores. Wow, Blyth have just scored!! They wouldn't have done that if I'd actually been there!!

BACK TO WORK!

Barely seems a fortnight since my last delivery. Where has that time gone?

From next week, everything is going to be very different here. Charles will be in Birmingham for two days a week, so everything that used to fit into seven days (his mother, the radio show, deliveries, the dogs and general stuff around the house) have to be squeezed in to five. Could be interesting. Certainly can't see stress levels being reduced at all!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

And I starrted 2015 with a long lie in! I never do this. I think it was nearly 10.00 when I looked at the clock and immediately shot out of bed. Shocking! Although why I felt so bad about it on New Years Day, when all I have to do is to get ready to go to the match, I have no idea.

As soon as I was able to focus and to think straight I got on to Twitter expecting (foolish woman) to read that Pardew has officially completed his move away from Newcastle, and of course, there's still nothing at all. No news. Nada!

Typical.