BIT OF A STRANGE DAY TODAY!

No real reason for saying that, apart from not having as much as usual to do. Charles brought Christina back with him when he returned from doing the coffee shop run. She seemed a bit tense today. Nothing like she's been in the past and she didn't lose her temper or anything, but it was just enough to raise the tension level in the house a bit. I don't feel as though we've done anything of any significance today. That in itself shouldn't be a problem. It's surely okay to have days when there's not much on? Just feels odd that's all. A bit of a waste!

LOOKS LIKE...

... Helen and Bill are going to be around for the next few days. This is good, as it will give us all a chance to catch up, but not so good because it will almost certainly involve eating. As Charles started his diet this week (and I joined in to give a bit of moral support) I don't want anything to disrupt his progress, so will need to be careful about what we all decide to do. I'm having a rather more relaxed day than I did yesterday. All those Christmas cakes took a bit of doing. Actually, I've just had an order for another fruit cake for a birthday at the end of December, so I might need to go and make another one!!

KITCHEN SMELLS OF...

... Christmas!! Lovely! Made four large and three small cakes this afternoon, ably assisted by Charles who did the actual mixing. Thank you Charles! Just waiting for Kevin to get hos act together and tell me what he needs tomorrow. I suspect it won't be a big order as it tends to go quiet in the cffee shop during school holidays. But we shall see... ... in a while.

5.30...

... and it's pitch-black out there. I find it quite depressing actually. Could be worse though - we could be in new York waiting for that storm to hit. I know it may be a bit of a panic about nothing, but with the level of flooding that's being predicted I keep thinking about all those people who live in the subways and in the underground network. Won't be much fun for them, but then they don't officially exist do they...?

STILL HERE!!

Just had a busy day so far. Went through to Gosforth this morning. Charles dropped me off to do the shopping and he went on to do the delivery, then it was back home to the kitchen for me. Really must try to take a bit of time off this week, otherwise Charles will be having a very disappointing half term holiday!

NEARLY TIME...

... for Downton Abbey!! Excited. Love it! Can't wait!!

VERY, VERY STRESSFUL...

... afternoon at SJP. Did we deserve to win? I really don't think so. There were times when we looked absolutely hapless. The trouble is this is becoming something of a default setting this season I'm afraid.

DON'T THINK THE GIRLS...

... have got their heads round the concept that the extra hour means an extra hour IN BED not an extra hour to be up and about!! Mind you, as we WERE up early, I've got all the jobs done and am now pretty much ready for the match - which kicks off at 3.00 (it's 9.30 now!!)

IT'S BEEN A ...

... really nice day today - relaxed and unhurried - bur spent in the company of our kids and their partners. The morning passed quickly as we got up late(ish) and all I needed to do was to make some cupcakes ready for Hallowe'en. Then we went to Gosforth and picked up James and Claire and headed over to the farm to have coffee and rather a lot of doughnuts with Christina and Tim. It was the first time James and Claire had seen the farm, but now they can imagine where Christina is spending most of her time these days. Then we went to Waitrose in Ponteland before heading home for an easy tea (Pizza!) and Strictly. Lovely!!

IT'S TWO WEEKS TODAY...

... since I was a smoker!! Doing really well. No cravings at all. Feeling healthier already. Brighter and more full of energy. All good then!!!

SICKENINGLY...

... I actually made a start on the dreaded Christmas shopping today. Not that I actually went out, just did stuff on-line, so it doesn't feel like real shopping. I'm quite pleased with myself though!! My excuse for starting so early is that the cake diary is pretty full as we get nearer to Christmas and I can't face having a last minute panic when I start to realise I'm running out of time. On another subject, why is there such a total load of rubbish on telly on a Friday night? Hopefully Graham Norton will rescue things with his Bond lineup, but apart from that everything else has been total crap.

FIRST SNOW...

... has arrived. It's been bitterly cold this afternoon and now we're having quite a heavy snow shower. Combine that with the clocks going back tomorrow and it all spells the start of winter to me. (Mind you, at least the clock in my car will be telling the right time. It's been an hour slow all summer!)

I JUST KNEW...

... EVEN WITHOUT OPENING IT, THAT THE COMMENT FROM DANNYMATT ON THE 'BIG GUNS" THREAD WOULD BE ABOUT BADGERS! And I wasn't disappointed!!

BIG GUNS...

... at Otterburn sound like they're coming through the walls!! Must be a big exercise - Wouldn't like to be living in Otterburn village right now, at least not without ear-defenders!

CHARLES HAS...

... gone to pick Christina up. She's got a full day off appointments up this way and needs transport to get to them. They should be arriving back here shortly after their first stop in Rothbury, then it's a lunchtime appointment in Alnwick followed by a session at the hairdressers in Morpeth this afternoon. James and Claire are coming round this evening. Hopefully Christina will still be here so we can have them all together. I've been up and baking for ages and now seem to have got to the point where I can chill a bit - which I intend to do quite literally as I'm going to make ice cream!!!

START OF HALF TERM...

... for Charles today. Bet he's glad about that!! I've started to drip-feed to Radcliffes the idea that I too might have a holiday. We've been open for almost a year and I haven't had a day off yet, so I think it's about time I did. God only knows what they'll do. Perhaps they'll bite the bullet and actually invest in the freezer I've been banging on about for the past 12 months. Or maybe they''ll have a fit of pique and source their baked goods fr someone else. Who knows??

FRIZZY HAIR WEATHER!!

Doesn't matter how much I straighten it, I can guarantee that within seconds of going outside this morning, it'll just be a frizzy mess. Grrrrr!! Charles doesn't have this problem so it's not even worth mentioning to him. Okay - guess the plan for today then? Yup, you got it, it's SO predictable isn't it! Must just mention that last night, for the first time in ages, the girls slept through and I actually woke them at 6.30 when I got up to see to the scones! Mind you, I'm not holding my breath for it to happen again in a hurry!!

KNACKERED!!

Feet are killing me and my back aches. Time to collapse in front of something mind-numbingly banal on TV I think.

CHICKEN, LEEK, BACON...

... and mushroom crumble in the oven. Don't ask - it's a request from Kevin!! Off down to Morpeth in the gloom shortly. Hate this time of year!!

COOKING A RIB OF BEEF...

.. for tonight's meal. Feels all wrong on a Monday!!

DO THE CLOCKS...

... go back this weekend? I suspect they do. I'm just looking outside now at a grey, foggy morning and feeling quite depressed about the start of winter. Still feel cheated out of summer! Not helped at all by the news on the weather forecast that we may be in for wintry showers on Friday - Nooooo!!!

FOR A SHORT TIME THIS MORNING...

... I was confused about why Charles was putting the Toon tops on the girls! It wasn't wet, frosty, cold or snowy when he took them out... ... Oh God - then I remembered what day it is today! Let the stress begin!!!

HOW DOES IT FEEL?

Without wanting to sound really cheesey, it feels as if I've been set free. For too long my life was completely controlled by cigs and I can't believe that after an hour long session last week I have come out of it as a non-smoker. No pain, no cravings, lots of pride, a bit of disbelief. I've kept the opened packet of JPS in the cupboard where I always used to store my cigs. It hasn't been touched since I smoked my last one at 12.30 last Saturday. I'm not keeping it in case I relapse, but as a measure of how far I've come. Being able to ignore it's presence gives me such a sense of success. I'm totally in control of it now.

IT'S SATURDAY...

... and therefore ONE FULL WEEK since I was a smoker!! Yay!!!!!!

HAD A GOOD OLD CHAT...

... with Christina today, as she was up in Fram for a while. Actually she was seeing her doctor in Alnwick, so Charles took her to that appointment and then brought her back here. She doesn't need to go back until after Christmas, so she's really pleased about that. I've had a morning of shopping and baking - so nowt new there then. Feeling pretty knackered to be honest. Might have to go for 40 winks!!

HAS ANYONE...

... ever cooked roast duck?? I haven't, nor would I ever really want to, but Christina has been asked to roast a duck for Christmas Day lunch - with Tim and his Mum on the farm - and she's naturally somewhat apprehensive. It'll be the first time she's prepared a full Christmas lunch, and that's scary enough, but having to cook something you've never tried before is especially daunting and even more so when it is apparently really difficult to cook properly. I've said we'll do a time plan and get most of the preparation done in advance, but I really think she should either a) ask Tim's Mum to show her how to cook the duck or b) get in lots of practice first or even better c) persuade them to have turkey.

HAVING A MORNING OFF...

... today. Makes a very welcome change actually. Instead of baking I'm off to SAKs to get my hair done, leaving Charles at home to look after the girls. Looking forward to it!

YOU COULD WELL BE RIGHT DANNYMATT...

... I honestly don't know how hypnotherapy works, but I suspect it does exactly what you said, by embedding pertinent phrases that are going to trigger appropriate reactions. I don't feel as if I'm using any willpower at all. I don't feel as if I need to. What I do know is that I have absolutely no desire to light up whatsoever!!!

GOING TO STRUGGLE...

... to get everything into the car this morning! (Ha ha - bet you thought that was going to say "Going to struggle without a smoke today!" but it didn't because I won't!! Seriously, the boot is full and there's limited interior space in my Peugeot, so it's a bit like doing a jigsaw with cake and quiche! Just realised how dark it is this morning. All the lights are on and it's pretty black out there. I suppose it won't be long until the clocks go back. Hate it.

MASSIVE ORDER...

... for the coffee shop tomorrow. Must be expecting a busy day!! Just when I thought I'd done a pretty good job of filling the new freezer up, most of it will be going out tomorrow morning. Feel a bit tired of it all at the moment - which is unfortunate as things are undoubtedly going to get busier over the next few weeks. Maybe I'm feeling a bit low after my cold? Need to pull myself together...

WET, WINDY AND MISERABLE...

... this morning. I've done all the baking I can do without having to venture out to the shops, so as soon as this batch of brownies comes out of the oven I've got to brave the elements and get myself into Morpeth. Still doing okay on the non-smoking front.

FISH AND CHIPS...

... at Amble this afternoon. Had to go and pick up the merc, so decided to have an easy tea before driving back home with the sun at just the wrong angle. To be honest there were times when I couldn't see a thing and just had to pray there was nothing in the way. (Why don't car manufacturers make sun visors that are deep enough for short people to actually be able to benefit from them?) Still doing okay on the non-smoking front. Very proud of myself actually.

MONDAY MORNING...

... and the big question is - can I stay smoke-free when I'm on my own? I suspect the answer is - Of course I can - as I have absolutely no cravings or desire to light up at all. Strange how I've gone off cappuccinos though!

FREEZER'S HERE!!

Excellent service. Ordered yesterday, delivered and set up this afternoon. Just need to fill it now!!

NO AMOUNT...

... of well-meant advice would have made any difference Dannymatt. I knew perfectly well what the dangers of smoking were, but being an addict I was able to set those aside whenever I needed a fix. It would have made no difference WHO had bullied, cajoled, persuaded, harangued - I had to make the decision myself AND needed to do it the only way I knew would work. It's only been just over one day. I may not see it through. But I reckon the first day should probably be the worst - and it's actually been a doddle!!!

OH YES!!!

I can now proudly announce that it has been over 24 hours since I was a smoker!! Hypnotherapy was always going to be the route I needed to go down. Claire knew of someone who is qualified in this field and she and James accompanied me yesterday. I think they were possibly more nervous than I was. In my head I had already convinced myself that I didn't want to be a smoker any more and that message was reinforced during the session. I've never been hypnotised or in a trance before, and I have to confess to wondering if it really was working while I was in my hour long session yesterday. I was aware of noises around me - birdsong and rain - and there were times when I was able to analyse why the therapist was saying what she was saying - but despite those distractions, it appears to be working so far. I had a bit of a restless night, but every time I woke I was telling myself "I'm a non-smoker". Today has been okay, actually. One thing I've noticed is that I have no desire to drink coffee. I wonder if that's because I always used to smoke with a cup of coffee? I've kept busy, but no more than usual. Just occasionally I catch myself thinking about smoking, but only because it was so intertwined with my routine and I now need to find something to fill the gap, although I imagine that what I perceive as a gap now will soon be absorbed into the general mellee and will cease to exist before too long. So, there you have it. I was a smoker, but I'm not any more!

STILL...

... doing okay!!

DOING OKAY...

... so far!!!

JUST PLACED AN ORDER...

... for a huge freezer that will arrive tomorrow and is specifically manufactured to work in a garage or outhouse. Yay - I can now get up to speed with loads of baking!!!!!

NOT SURE WHAT TO WRITE TODAY!!!

Wasn't going to mention this but... ... today could be a very important day for me. Not in a business sense, but in terms of fighting a particular demon that's lived with me for years. Not going to say any more in case it doesn't work, but I'm really hoping for a breakthrough today!

JUST WANT TO SAY...

... that it was absolutely fab having everyone round last night. James, Claire, Ghristina, Tim, Hannah and Jake - what lovely company you all are. I was so happy to see Christina relaxed, laughing and generally poking fun at herself, all things that would never have been in evidence a year ago. She is really making remarkable progress and I'm filled with pride on her behalf. Bad thing about yesterday? I started a cold. It hit at lunchtime like a ton of bricks and, despite liberal doses of day/night nurse, I'm feeling pretty lousy. Haven't got time for this!!! Charles has taken a mega-delivery over to Radcliffes this morning, including the birthday cake for Ignacio. I'm busy restocking the freezer, although I'm running short on ingredients and will need to break off to go down to Morpeth in a while. Might treat myself to an espresso frappe while I'm there to cheer me up a bit! Much nicer than honey and lemon, but possibly not as good for me - but hey ho who cares????

3.30 ALREADY!!

And I've just sat down with my laptop for the first time today. Been a bit hectic so far. Christina arrived early on as she needed a lift to Alnwick for a business appointment and then a session with her therapist. (Both seem to have gone well) Charles needed me to drive my car over to Amble as his Merc was going in for a service. (Absolutely HATE the drive to Amble - there is no direct route at all and it takes FOREVER.) Managed to throw together the birthday cake for Kevin - well it's for Ignacio actually, but Kevin ordered it. Not wonderful, but at a day's notice it'll have to do. Got a houseful this evening - 8 of us I do believe - so I've been cooking up pots of pasta sauces, including a rather fabulous chicken, salmon, mushroom and tarragon sauce which tastes divine. Apple pie. pavlova and profiteroles are all ready for pud, so nobody should leave hungry!! Time for a coffee I think!

SO BASICALLY...

... when Kevin says, "Jump!" I just say, "How high?" When am I going to learn?

JESMOND COFFEE SHOP OWNER...

... AND TALENTED PHOTOGRAPHER... ,,, BEATEN TO A PULP BY SUPPLIER OF BAKED GOODS. THIS FOLLOWS AN EARLIER ATTACK BY HIS SPANISH-BORN WIFE ON DISCOVERING THAT HE HAD FAILED TO ORDER THE BIRTHDAY CAKE FOR HER SON ON FRIDAY DESPITE BEING REMINDED WEEKS AGO. UPON BEING TOLD THAT HE WAS TOO LATE TO PLACE AN ORDER HE NEVERTHELESS WHEEDLED AND PLEADED UNTIL SUPPLIER OF BAKED GOODS CAVED IN. IN MY DREAMS I'VE BEATEN HIM TO A PULP AND CARMEN HAS NO DOUBT DONE THE SAME.

AAAARRRRGGGH!!

Wouldn't you know it - the fridge freezer in the kitchen has started making horrendous noises all of a sudden. Certainly sounds like death throes and yet it's only a couple of years old. Wonder if we could replace it with two freezers? As they're built in I don't know if it's possible, but maybe worth investigating. It would leave me a fridge down, but I still have a huge larder fridge and another smaller one, so should be able to do it. Need to investigate...

YEAH - YOU'D BETTER WATCH YOUR...

... REARGUARD DANNYMATT. A) I CAN'T STOP BAKING, AND WILL BE DOING MUCH MORE OF IT SHORTLY B0 IF I LIMIT MYSELF TO THE SPACE I'VE GOT I'LL NEVER CATCH UP WITH ORDERS C) THE IDEA OF A FREEZER IN THE BEDROOM IS ABSOLUTELY ONE THAT IS SO NOT AESTHETICALLY PLEASING So, I'm going to bite the bullet and order one of the rather expensive chest types that are guaranteed to operate at -15, and just hope it doesn't get any colder than that this winter. Thank you so much for your help!

STILL TRYING TO VISUALISE...

... a freezer in the bedroom dannymatt. Unfortunately, I really can't see it somehow!!

HMMM...

... told ya! Nuff said!

SETTING OFF SOON...

... to pick up Matthew and then James. Light lunch in Gosforth, then off to the match. Can't see us repeating the success of last season, but who knows? Just baked two gorgeous cinnamon, walnut and sultana loaves. Must stop doing this as we end up eating far too much and I haven't really got room in the freezers at the moment. Am trying to find a chest freezer that'll operate in the shed as I'm struggling for space now and will do so even more when Appleby's take off. We've looked at the available room in the kitchen and breakfast area and have come to the conclusion that we can't get anything else in, so the only alternative is the shed. Trouble is, there aren't that many makes and models that work when temperatures drop below freezing, so we're limited to what we can get. Plus, they are pretty expensive as well. Any ideas anyone?

THIS MAY NOT BODE WELL...

... for the result of the match today, but we're breaking with tradition and having our pre-match meal at Adriano's Deli in Gosforth! You have been warned!!!

BEAUTIFUL SUNNY MORNING...

... bit chilly though, but a lovely Autumnal day so far. Much too nice to be slaving in the kitchen, which sadly, is where I am. To be honest. I'm a little surprised to discover that it's still morning. We had a really early start today, and I seem to have been cooking for hours - was sure it would be about 2pm!! Had an emergency delivery to do for Kevin this morning. Thankfully Charles took it across while I got started on the baking. I think he's picking Christina up on his way back so we can have a bit of time with her. Just checked the kick-off time for tomorrow. Just as well as we thought it was 3pm and it is, in fact, a 4.00 start.

SICKENING NEWS TODAY

I suppose sadly, that it was not unexpected, but hearing that the abduction of little April Jones has now become a murder investigation is the saddest thing. I cannot possibly begin to imagine what her family is going through, but know that the pain must be simply unbearable. Until you are a parent you cannot imagine the depth of love you have for your children - no matter how old they are. I remember vividly the days when James was so sick with meningitis and his life was in danger. Nothing will ever erase the fear and despair we felt at that time. Imagining what that little girl went through must be the cruellest form of torture for her family - and yet they will not be able to avoid doing that. My heart goes out to them.

JUST WANT TO SAY...

... we're just home after spending a delightful evening with Christina and Tim (and Joan, Tim's Mum). Christina cooked a fab meal, she really worked hard, but was happy, relaxed and lovely company. What an unbelievable change during the last few months. I'm so incredibly proud of my daughter!

EARLY RETIREMENT?????

What's that Dannymatt? Charles is more retired than me - and he's still working!! But yes, I know what you mean!

LOVELY EVENING...

... with James and Claire, although I've eaten far too much and feel absolutely stuffed. I think they enjoyed their 'Sunday dinner on Wednesday' though! Watched two more episodes from Series 1 of Downton after dinner. I think we're all addicted to it actually. Charles is delighted that it's the start of his weekend!!

HELLO BLOG!!

Haven't got a clue where today has gone. Was up early (After a pretty good night's sleep actually. The girls didn't wake until gone 5.00!!!!) sorted out the delivery, raced back to Morpeth, did the shopping and met a friend for a quick coffee, then sorted out the utility room when I got home as it had got completely out of control with baking stuff and I'd got to the point where I couldn't find anything, then spent the afternoon baking and getting a meal ready for James and Claire tonight. Every day seems to be a variation on pretty much the same theme, doesn't it. (Might start copying and pasting!!)

ONLY HAD TO GET UP...

... once last night, and that was at 4.30 by which time I've usually been up at least twice during the past few weeks. Got the radio tuned into Five Live and playing all night, so maybe, just maybe, it had a bit of an impact. Hope fully, today should be relatively straightforward, with a bit of baking and shopping on the cards. Nowt different there then! James and Claire are coming for dinner tomorrow night and have requested roast chicken and all the trimmings, so I'll probably shop for that. Yum yum!!

BOUGHT A RADIO...

... this morning, just a little portable thing, £8 from Asda, to go in the kitchen and leave on at night in the hopes of distracting the girls from whatever noises they are hearing outside resulting in our broken sleep. I was up with them three times again last night and it's beginning to wear a bit thin. So, on the advice of the vet, we're going to give this a try! Don't hold your breath!!!