AND IF CHARLES THINKS...

...that looking after Lily and Rose while I have a few hours off tomorrow is going to be a doddle, he'd better think again!
You really do need eyes in the back of your head and you constantly have to try to keep one step ahead of the pups.
This is not easy Charles - you won't be able to spend the morning watching Soccer am or catching up on emails - I can guarantee that you will have found the week away with the kids easier than you will find a few hours with Lily and Rose!
Things to remember:
After they've eaten, they poop.
You need to get to the poop before they do.
They will try to eat the poop and the poopy tissue.
They attack from both sides, so avoid this by putting them into the little crate before you commence poop scooping.
Getting them into the little crate is a work of art - either throw in two of their treats or a couple of toys - then the puppies, only DON'T ACTUALLY THROW THEM IN.
Don't forget to let them out when you've cleaned up.
If it is a really messy poop, you will need to use the garden hose and the brush.
The puppies will attack the brush.
If you leave the french doors open they will be inside before you, even if they have poopy paws.
If they DO have poopy paws you need to mop the floor with the floor wipes that are under the sink.
The puppies will attack the mop.
If you need to regain your sanity, pop them into their big crate, but make sure the door is closed first or they will be out again.
They will attack the newspaper and tear it to shreds.
Then they will spill their water bowl.
When you let them out they will tear around the kitchen and breakfast room and possibly the utility room like crazed things.
DO NOT STEP ON THEM.
Their lunch will be ready for you just to add a little warm, not hot, water.
Make them sit and wait.
Rose will try to eat Lily's lunch. Don't let her.
They will have fat tummies. be careful how you pick them up!
The postman will come at some time during the morning - the puppies like the postman very much - and will try to go with him.
You need to watch out for the postman to avoid losing the pups and when he approaches the gate you must grab them and hold them until he has gone.
Don't grab then too hard. This will hurt them.
They will try to dig and eat the stones by the fence. Don't let them, they could choke.
If they go quiet - WORRY!
Don't imagine that one poop each is all they do - be on the look out for sneaky, unexpected poop.
They may want a sleep  - THIS IS GOOD!
Wait until they are both drowsy before putting them in the big crate. Do not let them sleep out of the crate in case you go into the sitting room and fall asleep and forget about them.
If they DO  go to sleep, you can breath a sigh of relief and sit down with a cuppa!
When they wake up they WILL NEED A WEE IMMEDIATELY.
Put them outside straightaway.
They may need to be coaxed out, especially Lily who will spend ten minutes yawning and will have wee-ed in the house by then.
To coax them out, use their treatbox which is on the wrought iron table. Give it a little shake so they know what's going to happen, take two tiny treats, show these to the pups and say, 'Come' then 'Sit'.
Make a dash for the door while they are chewing.
After they've slept they poop.
Return to the second item in the list and REPEAT THE WHOLE LOT.